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My journey with books has been anything but straightforward. When I was between 8 and 10 years old, I absorbed myself in R.L. Stine’s thrilling ‘Fear Street’ series, a collection of classic horror teen books. Each book had a different level of thrill; some were scarier than others, but they all hooked me.

I was a reserved and introspective child. Family gatherings usually meant the younger ones, like me, were left out of the adult conversations. Whenever we visited relatives, I would bring a book and sneak away until we returned home. Though there was a TV at these gatherings, it was usually occupied with Khmer or Chinese karaoke songs.

Our family owned a restaurant throughout my teenage years, from when I turned ten until I was 18. Since staying home alone was not an option, I spent most of my teenage life at the restaurant. With no TV as an option, books became my safe house. Despite being surrounded by material possessions, I often felt a sense of loneliness and boredom. Reading the ‘Fear Street’ series brought some excitement into my life. For at least an hour a day, I could escape into a world where nothing and no one would bother me.

When I reached my preteen years, I discovered anime and manga. These Japanese comics, especially the Shōjo type targeting young adult women, instantly replaced my ‘Fear Street’ phase. Due to their comic-style format with fewer texts, I could finish one manga a day (not to my mom’s amusement). I connected deeply with the characters, sometimes even having a crush on them (yes, Chiaki Nagoya <3).

As I progressed to high school, my interest in manga faded, and eventually, I stopped reading altogether. Schoolwork and puberty overwhelmed me, and I felt like reading manga was a waste of time. I believed I needed to start living life as a teenager instead of hiding behind books.

However, as my mid-twenties approached, life threw all kinds of challenges at me: heartbreaks, navigating my first job, living alone and a huge identity crisis. This dark phase led me to explore self-help and personal development books.

During this period, certain books provided guidance and a glimmer of hope. I often experienced ‘Aha’ moments while reading them. But unfortunately, those insights did not stick with me for long. I found myself consuming one self-help book after another, seeking answers to questions I had not fully framed. While reading, I had the illusion of self-improvement without taking any actions.

I believe books are a great starting point, especially when looking for a change or direction. They offer comfort and a sense of guidance, covering nearly every topic imaginable. Yet, personal development and self-help books would not magically transform you by just reading them. It is like endlessly studying ‘how to start a business’ without ever launching one.

Hence, I decided to stop self-help books (or at least take a break). I want to focus on intentional reading, properly absorbing books, and actively applying their lessons if there are some. I also aim to explore more fictional books and biographies, nurturing my creativity.

Nevertheless, each type of book played a specific role and provided different kinds of support during various phases of my life.

I have always been a daydreamer, and reading fiction books and manga gave me new stories to dream about and imagine. It was my escape route from the world, even for just a while. These books often made more sense to me than real life or people did.

While non-fiction books once provided me with the motivation and confidence I lacked from the outside world, I feel I have reached a point where it is time to put the learnings into practice and learn through experiencing life.

How have books influenced your life?