jutheblog

Last week, while chatting with another mom about our babies, I talked about my 8-month-old son’s sleeping habits. He sometimes screams randomly at night, so we still co-sleep. The other mom suggested a special baby bed attached to the parent’s bed and mentioned that her daughter had slept alone through the night since the beginning.

This somehow bothered me – did she think her baby was better than mine? Did she believe they were better parents because they were more consistent? I started to doubt my parenting skills and wondered if I was too soft on my son. Eventually, I realized that my perception was the issue, not my son.

Parents often use their children as a reflection of their egos. They tend to take credit for their child’s accomplishments while blaming themselves for their child’s mistakes.

They may say things like, “If my child is doing well, it’s because of me,” or “If my child is misbehaving, it’s my fault.”

When parents use their children to boost their self-esteem, the results can go either way. They may become too controlling and put too much pressure on their child to succeed. Some parents may take a different approach and seem like they don’t care about their child’s development. They may let their child do whatever they want without providing proper guidance or structure.

In the end, all of these factors will have an impact on your child. I know some parents who only focus on their child’s achievements and let that define them. However, this approach may only work until the child develops their willpower.

It’s crucial to acknowledge that our children do not reflect us. They are unique individuals with their own personalities and aspirations. As parents, our role should be to support them throughout their journey, not to control them.

I was thinking, instead of getting caught up in the comparison game, why not take a different approach?

Next time another mom tells you how amazing their child is, just smile and congratulate them. We’re all on our own parenting journey, so let’s support each other instead of trying to one-up each other.