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The day was May 13, 2021, and my husband and I were on a plane headed to Dubai, United Arab Emirates. It was hard to believe that just six hours earlier, we were in Munich, and now, we were in the heart of the desert.

Honestly, I didn’t realize it was a one-way ticket yet. It felt like we were embarking on a temporary adventure, like a long vacation in a new and exciting place. It wasn’t until later that I realized we were actually taking a leap of faith and committing to living in Dubai indefinitely. The feeling was exhilarating and daunting all at once.

The first month was a whirlwind of activity as my husband, and I tried to get our bearings and establish a new life in Dubai. We stayed in a luxurious 5-star hotel for the first few weeks, like a dream come true. We spent our days wandering around the city, trying new foods, and meeting new people. It was like being on an extended honeymoon.

But eventually, the honeymoon phase wore off, and we had to buckle down and tackle the practicalities of living in a new country. We had to sort out our visas, find a place to live and figure out how to navigate life in this crazy city. We decided to move from Germany to Dubai for a few reasons.

One of them was because my husband was offered a new role in his company, which was an exciting opportunity for him. In addition, I recently quit my corporate job to start my own online business. Still, I struggled to find the community and inspiration to grow my business where we lived.

On a more personal note, my family did not initially accept my relationship with my (then) boyfriend, and it was a difficult time for both of us. However, when he proposed in December 2020, I felt that taking a big step towards starting our journey in marriage was necessary (The challenges of being in an intercultural relationship…)

When my husband received his job offer in Dubai in December, we saw it as a chance for a fresh start. So, we decided to take the opportunity and move.

Little did I know that the journey ahead would be filled with surprises, challenges, and experiences that would shape us in ways we never imagined.

How is life in Dubai?

When people ask me about life in Dubai, I often describe it as a playground for adults.

You have huge malls with indoor roller-coasters and ski halls, or you can enjoy international cuisines ranging from Michelin-starred restaurants to street food or traditional Arabic cuisine. In contrast, there is also the beauty of the desert with its breathtaking starry night sky. Then we have the more traditional side of Dubai, including the creek and the old city. If you drive a bit further outside, there are the other emirates of UAE, such as Abu Dhabi, known for its famous mosque or Fujairah, with beautiful mountains and waterfalls.

Coming from a European country, living in such a service-oriented city was quite strange. There are services for everything. You can even call someone to deliver gasoline to your home. Moreover, Dubai is a city that never seems to sleep. Unlike Germany, there is no concept of a ‘resting’ Sunday, with almost everything operating 24/7. There is always something happening in the city.

Dubai is undoubtedly a city you either love or hate, but one thing is sure – it is a place where boredom is unlikely.

However, as time passed, I realized that Dubai was not the city for me.

My goal in Dubai was to really get into my entrepreneurial journey. To be finally surrounded by inspiring, like-minded people and to work on a successful business. Easier said than done.

During the first months, I felt all over the place with emotions and the fast-paced dynamic of the city. I was still traumatized by how things went with my family and the fact that they did not support my decision to move. My family did not (want to) understand why I moved and were still mad at me for being with my husband. Almost every call with my mom was a blame game for leaving her alone. My sister was never really interested in my life in Dubai.

Whenever they asked how things are going there, I always told them how great everything was. I felt the need to defend the city, the people, and what I do here.

Additionally, I had the urge to meet new people as soon as possible. I was ‘thirsty’ to meet people in similar situations and make meaningful connections. So, I started putting myself out there and went to a couple of meet-ups, joined different Facebook groups and even texted some people individually. It was challenging, exciting, and overwhelming to overcome my social anxiety. A few months in, I found some girls with similar interests and with the same struggle of being an expat. I even met a group of women with whom I started a company.

The turning point was when I became pregnant after seven months of living in Dubai.

It felt like a setback, a huge identity shift I wasn’t quite ready for. I was slowly getting comfortable in the city and making new friends, and it seemed like I was finally starting to find my place. Slowly I didn’t feel comfortable anymore in the city.

The friendships I just made in Dubai changed. I was the only pregnant one and felt disconnected somehow. And being pregnant made me feel vulnerable and insecure about meeting new people. As our newly founded company progressed, tensions and frustrations mounted among team members, leading to arguments. (Let’s save this for another blog.)

Additionally, due to the hormones (or not), I started to feel incredibly lonely and homesick. I felt like there was nothing holding me back in Dubai anymore.

My husband and I started to discuss our future, including where we envision our child growing up and whether settling in Dubai is a possibility. What are our long-term goals? As my pregnancy has progressed, I have found myself missing my family more and more. We have come to realize what we had in Germany. The greenery and nature, the slow-paced life, to be closer to friends and family.

So, we decided to leave Dubai after two years.

Did we make the right choice to leave Dubai? Will I regret it someday? I don’t know. To this day, I am not sure if our hormones influenced our decision to return to Europe.

We made the most of our move and learned so much about ourselves. Ultimately, if you are unhappy where you are, you should make a change. Looking back, I think that if I had been in a different stage of my life, I would have stayed longer in Dubai. Maybe my perspective would have differed as a bachelor in my mid-twenties or a student.

Still, I am so proud of myself for making this huge step and grateful for this experience. If you’re considering moving abroad, I can’t recommend it enough. It may be intimidating at first, but the rewards are truly priceless.

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How has moving abroad changed me?

It changed my perception about a lot of things:

All the irritating administrative tasks will come to an end

Settling in a new city comes with a lot of tedious things. Besides that, you need to know the rules of the country first. If you are like me, you will get overwhelmed quickly by everything. What I learned, do your research before, and if you know someone living or who lived in this city, connect with this person. It will make many things easier, like finding a place to stay, getting to the right authorities, etc. And remember: It is all a phase. With the move from Dubai to Zurich, we were much more relaxed and calm.

• Don’t blame the city for not being happy

I met many people complaining about the city they live in, blaming everything from the government to the people, the prices or simply the weather. Of course, it’s easier to blame your surroundings than confront the true root of your unhappiness

I used to do the same. Before moving to Dubai, we lived in a quiet suborn of Munich, where I constantly complained about the lack of excitement and inspiration. In hindsight, I realize it was my own unhappiness and sense of restlessness.

Simply relocating to another place will not change the root cause. It doesn’t matter where you are if you are truly content with yourself. Or how the weather is.

• It is ok to admit the city isn’t for you

When we decided to return to Europe, we experienced a range of emotions and a lot of doubts and questions.

Would we miss out on opportunities?

Would others assume we were unsuccessful in settling and finding happiness in Dubai?

Were we mentally prepared for a fresh start?

And what about our three-month-old baby? Were we being reckless?

The answer is: You wouldn’t have known if you hadn’t tried

Maybe you discovered what truly matters to you or realized that your perception of the place was different from reality. Or your priorities just changed with time, whether due to a new partner, career path or, in our case, our baby.

You cannot force happiness.